'Are you a moron? Well, have I got a deal for you! For just 10% of your life savings, and loss of your free will, I can sell you this antique manuscript telling you all about the secrets of life and death, and who your master is!' (fine print) 'Must be over the age of 2 with an IQ no higher than the double digits. No guarantee of afterlife implied. We do not fully condone sacrificing animals, or children, or killing doctors or people who work on Sundays..'