This is a response to a blog post by A Really Honest Introvert. In her post, she poses that if a guy is in love with a girl, and he befriends her, he is 'the worst misogynist because of their sense of entitlement toward a woman'. In other words, men who end up in the 'friend zone' are not really friends, and in fact, manipulative pricks trying to get in a girl's pants. If you have read this blog post, and agree, try, just for a moment, to think of things another way.
What if this man is that perfect fairy tale love? Perhaps he isn't the dashing prince on his white steed, but portrays all the other characteristics of the perfect guy, at least in your eyes. Is he funny? Perhaps. Does he care about you? Well, who's shoulder do you cry on? Who will sit and talk with you from dusk till dawn about all of your problems? Who in on your doorstep at three in the morning when you are home alone, and need someone to protect you from the scary noises? If you were at a party, and your boyfriend treats you like dirt, and refuses to drive you home, who is willing to walk through miles in a storm to see you to your home safely? If you know someone who fits these statements, maybe he isn't really your friend. Maybe he's just a misogynist prick trying to get in your pants. But... Maybe, just maybe, he's the man of your dreams, and you just don't know it yet.
I remember that feeling. It's been a long time since I could feel anything so strong for more than a few moments at a time. That was me on the phone all night, almost every night, while someone talked to me about everything and nothing. It was me who was the shoulder to cry on while someone went from boyfriend to boyfriend trying to find someone that wouldn't hit her, treat her like garbage, or do far worse. And yes, it was me in the blizzard of 96, dumb enough to think I could walk her home a town away knee deep in snow.
But why weren't you just 'upfront about your feelings'? Don't think I wasn't. There were signals, than blatant signals, and then I simply asked her out. She didn't want to 'ruin our friendship'. I suppose some of you think this is 'stalker creepy'. Believe as you will. I would like to pose a quick question to those people, however. If someone felt that way towards you, and did all the things I did when I was young, would you feel the same way you do now? If you do, is it possible that the guy who would obviously walk through fire for you isn't the problem? Is it possible that you simply don't feel like you deserve that much affection? Could you simply be scared at the idea of someone's emotions for you being that strong? Could you have a problem with your own emotions?
So next time you break up with some ass-hole that treats you like dirt, and you are sitting on the couch watching some cheesy love story, don't wonder 'why aren't there any guys like this in real life?'. Instead, look at the first few numbers on your speed dial.
Which friend might be your knight in shining armour?